'Mafia Mamma' review: Toni Collette's mob comedy needs to get whacked

Mafia Mamma follows a down-on-her-luck California woman who unwittingly becomes the head of her family's crime operation in Italy

Mafia Mamma tries to be Under the Tuscan Sun, Goodfellas and a raunchy 2000s comedy yet fails at all three. The jokes are so low-brow (and vaguely offensive) to even laugh at let alone with. Sloppily made. Frustratingly repetitive. Toni, I'm so sorry.

Mafia Mamma may have been the greatest comedy of all time… back in 2008. Today, not so much. It's not fault of the actors, who are doing their absolute best with material that reads like it was written by a screenwriter that has since been canceled. Toni Collette is such a master at comedic line delivery that she could make War and Peace funny. The problem here is that the jokes are so broadly-written that even good line-delivery make the punchline land—it's what happens when jokes are only punchlines.

It's a shame that a concept ripe for laughs (and camp) goes to waster (sleeping with the fishes, if you will). Kristin, a California wife and mother, is surrounded by men who think her job is to kowtow to their will—worst of all is her man-child husband Paul (Tim Daish) who, of course, is in a band. So when she gets a call from her late grandfather's no-nonsense Italian “assistant” Bianca (Monica Bellucci) asking her to come to Italy to help settle his affairs, Kristin is hesitant… that is until she catches her husband in a compromising position in their basement.

Seeing an opportunity to get herself out her rut—and with some encouragement from her friend Jenny (Sophia Nomvete) who insists she have an “Eat, Pray, Fuck” vacation—Kristin travels to Italy. However, at the funeral the mourning is quickly interrupted by gunfire (and maybe one of the worst “walking away from an explosion” shots I've ever seen—Angela, show them how it's done). Turns out, Kristin's grandfather was the boss for one of the most powerful crime families in Italy, The Balbanos, and he wanted her to be his successor much to the chagrin of his nephew Fabrizio (Eduardo Scarpetta).

Kristin ambles her way through the crime org including negotiating peace between crime families, managing their sh-tty wine cover operation, and trying to get d-ck. That last part is what makes Mafia Mamma nearly unbearable to watch. While Collette is completely immersed in Kristin's naïve doe-eyed persona, that one-note doesn't often change even when the movie takes a turn towards female empowerment. In many cases, it's her dopiness that saves her rather than her own skill. Throw in Super Mario Bros.-levels of Italian stereotypes, unnecessary levels of gross-out gore, and a plot that doesn't actually go anywhere despite it going everywhere and you have a crime-comedy that's dead-on-arrival.

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Hey! I'm Karl. You can find me on Twitter here. I'm also a Tomatometer-approved critic.

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Karl Delossantos

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Hey, I'm Karl, founder and film critic at Smash Cut. I started Smash Cut in 2014 to share my love of movies and give a perspective I haven't yet seen represented. I'm also an editor at The New York Times, a Rotten Tomatoes-approved critic, and a member of the Online Film Critics Society.