‘Old’ is perhaps M. Night Shyamalan’s weirdest | movie review

In M. Night Shyamalan’s Old a group of vacationers become trapped on an isolated beach where time is sped up and everyone is aging rapidly

Just when you thought The Happening was M. Night Shyamalan‘s most bizarre movie along comes Old. But if you know anything about the director, it’s that when he swings he swings hard and when he misses it’s in spectacular fashion. Old is no exception. There’s a level of delusion when it comes to M. Night Shyamalan that I love. For the most part, I think he’s in on the joke of his films — at their core, they’re midnight B-movie features. However, I think there’s a bit of him that’s still stuck in The Sixth Sense of it all where he believes he’s a prestige filmmaker — and that’s alright.

Old follows the Capa Family — Prisca (Phantom Thread‘s terrific Vicky Krieps), her husband Guy (Gael Garcia Bernal), and their kids, preteen Maddox (Alexa Swinton) and six-year-old Trent (Nolan River) as they arrive at a luxurious tropical resort. They’re greeted by warm faces, exotic drinks, and a vacation riddled with clunky expository dialogue. And I mean bad… like “I’m an actuary, I analyze risk!” bad. Actually, every character is defined by their occupation and proudly announces it every time they get — phrases like “I’m a doctor” and “I work in a museum” are exclaimed almost every five minutes. There’s even a rapper called Mid-Sized Sedan. You can’t make this stuff up.

Suggesting they get off the beaten path, the hotel concierge gives them directions and passage to a secluded beach that can only be reached through a narrow canyon pass. Along with other guests from the hotel — doctor Charles (Rufus Sewell), his young wife Chrystal (Abbey Lee) and their daughter Kara (Kyle Bailey) — they settle in for the longest day of their lives… literally.

Before long they discover the body of a woman in the water who died of unknown causes which immediately makes the group suspicious of Mid-Sized Sedan (Aaron Pierre), who was the only person on the beach when they arrived. Long-married couple Jarin (Ken Leung) and Patricia (Nikki Amuka-Bird) — he’s a nurse! she’s a therapist! — join the group and try to turn back for help, but quickly realize that they can’t leave the beach because of some unseen force. With no way to call for help and no way to leave, they’re left waiting for rescue. However, waiting on this beach isn’t exactly an option as each of the kids begins to age rapidly before their eyes.

They soon calculate that one hour on the beach equals two years. “Racing against the clock” takes on new meaning. As things go from odd to downright absurd, the group struggles to find a way off the beach before they die. And die they do in spectacular fashion.

Shyamalan has never been one for true horror. He’s famously said he’s not a horror filmmaker even though his film The Sixth Sense is one of the few horror movies to be nominated for Best Picture. However, Old is a psychological thriller that uses body horror elements to make you feel uncomfortable in a way that only some filmmakers can hope to achieve. The fear of aging and our own mortality is enough horror.

And the way that Shyamalan moves the story along is quite brilliant. One incident folds into the next and as time marches along the revelations, particularly to the teen versions of the children played masterfully by Hereditary‘s Alex Woolf, Eliza Scanlen and Jojo Rabbit‘s Thomasin McKenzie, become increasingly shocking. It’s quite incredible how well-paced the movie is despite its bizarreness.

The tone is something you’ll either love or hate and have you questioning whether Old is as serious as it’s meant to be. There’s a sense of camp to it all. For example, the therapist character chides at precisely the wrong moment that she, “doesn’t like the relationship dynamic here.” And another character who is slowly succumbing to some mental illness repeatedly asks what the movie with Marlon Brando and Jack Nicholson is — it’s The Missouri Breaks, by the way. It’s over-the-top, but never not entertaining.

Can I call Old a good movie? I’m not sure. Shyamalan has used the “you didn’t get that this was a satire” defense when it came to The Happening, which in some ways I accept. The odd tone of that film does make for an interesting B-horror movie that either you’ll love, hate, or love to hate. The precise wavelength that Old is on is hard to catch, but once you do it’s almost impossible not to enjoy. Grab some popcorn, sneak some alcohol in a water bottle, and check your cynicism at the door.