‘Orange is the New Black’ Review: “Thirsty Bird” (2×01)

SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't watched this episode of Orange is the New Black, I highly suggest you stop reading now!

Orange is the New Black finished off with one of the most frustrating cliffhangers in online television history. We left Piper Chapman beating the sh!t out of Pennsatucky after she tries to attack her, but we return to Piper in the SHU being transported to some mysterious location, which turns out to be Chicago. My problem with the episode lies in that none of it takes place in the prison or with the women that we have learned to love and care about. While the episode added some forward plot development for, it wasn't the episode that we wanted.

Piper seems to have been in a sort of haze since her incident with Pennsatucky, probably because (a) she was in isolation and (b) she was still unaware of Pennsatucky's condition. That's fine with me. I liked that they added a little suspense with Pennsatucky's fate, but it went on way too long for me. However, what we did get out of it was a wonderful performance by Taylor Schilling and a heartbreaking commentary on what it feels like to think you killed someone. It's set up that Piper is suffering greatly from the incident and that she's terrified of herself. It's going to make for an interesting development as the season progresses.

After the long transportation process, during which Piper had to hold her pee for hours, we finally discover that she is in route to Chicago. For a transfer or resentencing, we don't know. When she finally arrives she's processed and thrown into a cell where she immediately kills a cockroach, named Yoda, that smuggles cigarettes between inmates. Let me just say her roommate weren't too happy. It also didn't help that won took 4 dumps a day in the open of the cell, one killed thirteen inmates, and one is obsessed with astrology and knowing Piper's time of birth. While they made for some hilarious moments, especially when they forced Piper to find another cigarette smuggling cockroach, it just felt off to be introducing another crop of quirky inmates.

The entire episode took place in this prison. I understood why they did it. We were expecting to see familiar faces, so to deprive us of that makes us want to watch more to get there, but I'm already hooked Orange is the New Black, no need to hook me again.

It turns out that Piper is just in this prison to testify against Alex's old drug boss and that Pennsatucky is alright. Things get tedious when Alex asks Piper to lie on the stand and say that she never met the boss. Of course, Alex refused. The flashbacks of the episode focused on Alex's childhood and revealed that she always overthought things and played by the rules. It also revealed that every time she didn't, things didn't go her way.

Eventually, Piper does lie on the stand. Saying she did everything for Alex. What does Alex do? Tell the truth on the stand. Piper said it and I say it again. F**k you, Alex.

I was disappointed by the episode. Part of what I love about the show is it's so well-balanced in its story lines. While I appreciated the beautiful character development and forward plot momentum, I can't bring myself to see this as an episode of Orange is the New Black especially with its new classification as a comedy. The episode was much darker than anything last season and while it had its funny moments skewed a little to far to drama. However, it proves again what an amazing actress Taylor Schilling is. Why they submitted in drama at the Emmys, I don't know.